Wedding planning and I did not get along. I procrastinated a lot. I got frustrated and confused. I cried (more than once, I’ll admit.) Not everyone has a dream for exactly how their wedding should look, myself included. I wasn’t sure what I wanted for anything, which made planning feel like a lot of pressure and stress. Now that I’ve been through a wedding as the bride (and not just the photographer), I understand that more than ever. Below are just a few small slices of advice I can give to those who are starting the planning process, and might not be entirely looking forward to it.
Focus only on what you care about. There are a lot of elements to a wedding. Just because something is “always done” doesn’t mean you have to do it if you don’t care. We didn’t have programs, favors or a guest book. Why? Because we didn’t care. As a result, I didn’t have to spend any time overanalyzing decisions for things that were not important to me. If it’s not important to you, let it go.
Avoid meetings for the sake of meetings. Every bridal magazine will tell you to meet with 3-5 different people for each vendor category. Who has time for that? If you like the first DJ you meet with, can afford their prices, and trust they’ll do a good job – book them. There’s no need to meet with four other DJs just to say you did your due diligence. Your time is probably worth more than that.
Hire people you like. Price is an excellent reason to choose a particular vendor, but it isn’t the only important thing. Regardless of the type of vendor, you’ll have to meet with this person at least two more times. And they are going to be present at – or privvy to details about - one of the most personal and intimate days of your life. Do you really want to invite someone you dislike into that? Hire people that you enjoy being around, and whom you can trust, not just those with the lowest price.
Trust your decisions. Stop looking at wedding dresses after you’ve ordered one, and stop perusing venues once you’ve signed a contract. You have a lot of time to change your mind between decision time and wedding time. Instead of making yourself crazy by flip flopping, just trust that you made the best decision the first time. You did.
Trust your vendors. You’ve hired people you like and trust – now let them do their job. These people work weddings every weekend and they know what they’re doing. Stop taking on extra responsibilities and stress, and just let them do the work.
Seek professional help. If you aren’t excited about planning your wedding, hire someone who is. Professional wedding planners live for details, love brainstorming ideas, and will be happy to think about all the little things you don’t even want to know about. Their fee is worth the time you’d spend doing things you don’t want to do, and all the ensuing meltdowns.
Change the subject. Everyone around you wants an update on the wedding planning process each time they see you. Why? Because it’s something new and interesting to talk about – at least to them. To you, it might feel like a constant reminder of all the things that need to be done. I discovered late in the planning process that asking friends if we could talk about something other than wedding plans never hurt anyone’s feelings, and kept me from feeling like my entire life revolved around the wedding. If you don’t want to discuss the wedding anymore, change the subject. No one will be offended.
Get great photos. I realize I am biased with this statement, I do. But the ONLY thing you get to keep from your wedding (besides a dirty wedding dress, extra invitations, and maybe some dried flowers) is the photos. They are what you can show people who couldn’t make it to the wedding and pass on as heirlooms to your children. You don’t have to hire me, but do hire a good photographer. You’ll be kicking yourself later if you don’t have good photos to remember the day by.
agree with all your points. photos were my biggest expenditure but my most important factor. Yes, the dress was too, but when you see talent- you book it!